the window by my bed
never offered me pity, or judgement of who i am. it simply exists. it exists in a place, and at a time - much like i do. that place and time has never really mattered.
the window by my bed 
 shows me a familiar tree in the front yard, and its branches touching the stars. branches bare in the early spring, filled with life in the summer. yet, they never stop reaching for the sky. 
my eyes shift focus to the window glass, i am faced with a reflection of myself. 
whoever i am, i am not alone. i have myself.
the window by my bed
 shows me the same stars and moon i’d see years ago, when i was younger and more naive.
“papa, why is the moon following us?”
i’d frequently ask my father in the car when i was a child. i do not quite remember what he’d respond, because clearly, i am convinced that the moon still follows me around years later.
the moon still follows me, it hasn't changed. the essence of who i am hasn't changed. i continue to dream, create and imagine. i aged, and much did change. yet, the moon is still the moon, and i am still me. 
i am still that curious girl, questioning the small details of life, attempting to make poetry out of the earth, and paintings out of music. 
i am still that curious girl, who never stopped making metaphors out of the moon.
my eyes stray from the moon to the rest of the sky. i’ve always noticed that once i spotted one bright star in the clear night sky, many other stars would slowly fill my vision. 
it’s as if i’ve gained their trust, and they’re no longer too shy to hide from me. 
even with the hundreds upon thousands of stars scattered throughout the night sky, my eye is still drawn to that first bright star i saw. 
that is the star i want to be someday.
i don't identify with many scholars i encounter in my classes; i don't see myself in the people who prioritize high grades and making money. i want to be someone who can let go of the pressure and anxiety, and instead appreciate the value of living, breathing, existing. 
i want to be the best at what i can do:
 i want to dream the best, love the best, and learn the best. 
once i think i’ve finally figured it out, i’d like to paint that picture of peace and self-love for others, as my window did for me.
the window by my bed taught me about the moon and stars. the moon and stars taught me about myself. 
often, i did not realize what it feels like to breathe until i opened that window and let the sharp, cold air hit my face. i did not have to worry about the destination, as people often do when stepping foot outside. i could stay still for a moment.
i learned that there is not all that much to life other than just being.
the window by my bed
has shown me a reflection of the artist, dreamer, and romantic i was, am, and always will be.

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